Dating parents special needs children
But the thing you need to remember is that you have achieved something great because, on your own you have managed to not only love, feed, clothe and house your child, but you have managed to attend to all of those extraordinary things that your special needs child requires to succeed.
This thought may not alleviate all of the guilt you might feel by not being there for every therapy session, but you can feel smug that you did all of this by yourself (and there is nothing wrong with feeling a bit smug now and again).
When your child is first diagnosed you will realize that there is no partner in the room that you can look to and say “what should we do? The good thing about making the decisions on your own is that you don’t have to deal with another parent who may think that a procedure, therapy or evaluation is unnecessary.
Regardless of how or when you became aware that you had been inducted into this select group of parents, there are a few pieces of advice that universally apply: (Okay, it is going to take lots of deep breaths or possibly you may need to be reminded to actually breathe). You may be surrounded by family and friends (or not) but at the end of the day, the decisions are yours alone.Depending upon the modifications you can make to your work schedule (start later in the morning, leave early, take an unpaid day once a month, work 4 longer days instead of a typical 5 day work week, win the lottery) you will need to schedule medical appointments around your schedule and often schedule multiple appointments for the same day (this will often require sucking up to the medical office secretary or occasionally begging).If your child has multiple specialists, I preferred one-stop shopping and had all of the specialists at the same hospital.Once you have achieved a level of organization that the NASA launch team would be in awe of, you will inevitably meet some partnered stay-at-home parent who will tell you that she (it is usually a woman who says this) made the hard decision to quit her job and stay home since it was best for her special needs child.This will invariably deflate your sense of accomplishment since it implies you are not doing the best for your child.
Since you have no partner to complain to about these inane comments, find the friend who says, “Well, this sucks” and complain to that person.